Friday, February 11, 2011

Felicity's Glimpse of Thoughts...

Its been so long seems so long since the last time I ever tried to create a blog like this.There was a  blogged name Iyesha which I once lost and now trying to create again a new life through the name of Felicity.It took me 28 years to finally found her.I never thought of being inclined with the name "Felicity" it was just a vague indication how lovely it define which means "happiness". (Feb.11,2011~unfinished thoughts)

(Feb.12,2011)~ its been 6days since I deactivated my facebook account and Im missing him?!Is it missing my fb or missing the guy I used to view everytime Im opening my account?I guess both.I miss my friends,seeing whats up to date with their life.Liking their photos,current status and the like, though i can still view them with other accounts stil its not the same.But the mere reason of doing so is to find peace.To find my own solace.And now that I was able to closed another books from the past, I guess its about time for me to open another chapter of my Life and I should know better this time.I guess Im a little smarter this time,lots of lesson learned from those experiences,whether good or bad  I should still stay focus with my goal- my goal in finding my FELICITY.

I've been into different kind of relationships in my life,but non of it ever succeed, I always failed and you know why?.Its because all this years of my experienced I never listen to Him,maybe I did but I never follow.I have always been stubborn.I do whatever I want, whatever I think will make me happy without even thinking if that is what He really wants for me, If that is what He knows best for me and to sum it up? stubborn+impulsive+impatient = failure,pains and lots of heart aches.If I am going to think about feels like 28years of my life are wasted?!But I never regret it, no more sourgraping for me coz I might failed but are lots of lessons learned.Every sad/bitter memories of it are all in the past now, its all over and can never haunt you in your present not unless you allow it yourself.And as for me?I wont allow my past to haunt me.I can never do anything from what happen in the past but hey, Im still alive, which means I still have the chance to start all over and make a Big change in my Life!a Good change, a change that will make make me a much better person.This time I want Him to come first before me so I wont fear anymore of walking, driving and sailing on the wrong path cause when Im with him I believe that Felicity will soon find me.We're going to find each other and when it happen, I will sure let you know.

For now, I have to make a pause for a while, take a deep breathe, close my eyes, feel Him from within, talk to Him ask for His grace,guidance and blessings to my family and friends and still thinking of this guy and praying for him that whatever his heart desire is if its whats best for him, may it be granted, but still hoping one day in Gods time this guy will ever feel me.I really missed him a lot.His smile i can never forget.A man with a good heart,he might be having fun for now & enjoying his bachelor life yet I never see him the way he introduce himself to me.He has his reason why he choose to be stubborn.He was just once like me but I have hopes that one day he will come back to Him  and when he did I hope he can still find me just behind Him waiting for him.I love you so much.Goodnight. 

No comments:

Post a Comment